Zap!

This home is in Mound.  It sits on a hill, across the street from the houses on Lake Minnetonka. Not really an elegant multi-million dollar house like so many in this area, but what it lacks in style, size, cleanliness, color, decor, layout, amenities, and location, it makes up in ultra coolness (cue 1970′s music).

Yup, that’s right, shag carpet on the walls, everywhere.  Plus then you get the creepy basement with carpet all over the walls and the bed on the carpet platform.  Weird.

I always wonder why anyone buys a house that has fundamental problems like crumbling foundations or less than legal headroom in the 2nd floor.  I see this all the time.  Then to make matters worse, I have no idea why they will then spend a considerable amount of money cosmetically renovating this property.

About 12 months ago a customer was interested in a duplex by the U of M.  This building had been completely renovated down the to studs with new wiring, furnaces, siding, plumbing, and nice interior finishes.  We thought this was too good to be true.  When we did the inspection, we found that you could literally pull the foundation blocks out with your hands.  The contractor estimated the house needed to be jacked up, dug out and a new $50,000 foundation installed!

Just the other day I got a call from a friend of mine who said he knew a guy that wanted to sell his duplex he just renovated in Saint Paul.  He was selling it non-MLS for $90k and it generated $1600 per month in rent.  I spoke to him on the phone and he said he had installed new furnaces, re-sided the house, installed new windows, a new sewer main, new electrical and all interior cosmetics.  I figured for $90k this could probably be a good opportunity.

I am sure you can see where this is going!  I go into the downstairs unit, which was vacant.  As I walk around, I am getting this strange sensation of vertigo.  I feel like I am walking uphill.  Well I was!  The entire building is probably 4 inches out of plumb.  In other words, the entire building is leaning 4″-6″ to the west.  Here are some pictures I shot.

There were no camera tricks used in the making of this article!

Interesting lack of plumbing.	Who gets to empty this?
Mom!  Have you seen my favorite jeans?	Son, they are on the couch downstairs.
Just pour the water off your roof and into that vacant house next door!	I am not so sure that water runs uphill on this planet!

I love what people do to fix things.  Enjoy!

They didn't want to change the door height, so they cut into the floor for the door.	This shelf is in the main traffic flow of the kitchen at 5 foot high!@
You can cook and do laundry in the same motion without moving you feet!	My electrician customer just about had a stroke when he saw this one!
Who needs tile when a little duct tape and plastic will do! Otherwise, nice tile!	Commercial bathroom garbage can on wall in basement bedroom. Why?
More pictures of caulk used as filler.	You think you have enough on there?

I love my job!

I am not sure why it is so hard to do good repairs in bathrooms.  Maybe it is because next to the kitchen, it is the most used room in the house.  I don’t know, but as you can see below, more than a few people couldn’t figure it out!  Enjoy.

Check out what is holding up the corner of the cabinet.	A brick and an ashtray (and a pen cap to boot).
This guy must have been a master welder as he fused copper to plastic!	How about an outlet in the shower for a real wake up jolt in the morning!
Who needs a knob to flush the toilet when you have a pull string?	Who needs bolts to attach anything when you have caulk?
What the?	I am sure that will drain fine!

Now I think I understand why the City of Minneapolis requires a special license to be a plumber in their city!

Wall to wall aright	Not sure what these 9″ nails are for	So much pad you sunk in about 4″
Vinyl on the walls	Did this guy work at a vinyl store?	Lastly, they tiled the cabinet door!

Clearly this homeowner worked somewhere to get all this vinyl and other floor covering!

It got me thinking that is has been some time since I posted a Stupid Property Repair.  Maybe it has been because I am becoming numb to the stupidness.  Maybe it is because I am so engaged with my customers that I don’t notice the repairs.  Or maybe it is because I am talking so much that I am light headed and can’t see straight (this one is my best guess).

Well I came across a nice one the other day.  Here we go.

Cute 1.5 story, 1950s house in a quiet North Minneapolis neighborhood.  I have seen this exact floor plan probably 500 times.  Walk in to the long family room, kitchen is on the back of the house straight ahead, dining room/bedroom/office off the kitchen, plus 2 other bedrooms on that floor and then a steep staircase to a big room upstairs.

This house was on the market for $79,900.  Decent price for this neighborhood as it was a foreclosed property.  It gets interesting as the moment you open the front door, where you are expecting hardwood floors, you are hit with an entire living room of white-ish tile.

Ok.  Well, not my preference, but I understand people in Florida put tile everywhere.  What I started to realize is that this must be one of the worst tile jobs I have ever seen!  Clearly done by a weekend warrior.  They simply put the tile down and never even attempted to close the gaps around the trim.

Even I can do a better job than that!  Plus, then the tile in the kitchen was completely different than the tile in rest of the 1st floor.  Again, OK, maybe they did the kitchen first and then they got a great deal on this other tile.  But look at the seem in between the two tiles.  You must have a 1″ gap there.

Now I am just lauging and hacking on the poor guy that put this tile in.  I go into the kitchen and check out both the counter top and what is mounted above the sink.

A hand soap dispenser like you would find in a restraurant bathroom.  Huh.  Odd.  By the way, nice counter pattern.  See what the rest of the kitchen looks like.

And then just for the cherry on top, I go upstairs and see this odd install.  I must have spent 5 minutes trying to understand why they would put 6 registers on the wall into the attic space like that.

It turns out (the picture did not turn out) that there was a bath fan mounted in the attic space behind these registers to suck the hot air out of that 2nd floor room.  For the amount of money and time they spent on engineering this one, they could have gone to Home Depot and bought a $89 air conditioning unit and put in the window there!

And this house can be yours if the price is right!

Are you searching for investment properties on your own and running into similar properties?

Scott Ficek is a Minnesota Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Advantage Plus in Minneapolis and helps new and seasoned investors buy and own Minnesota Investment Property. He owns and manages almost 30 investment property units from single family to multi-family. Find his website at www.minnesotainvestmentrealestate.com or use it to search the MLS for Investment Properties.

First you have the canned expanding foam to plug some holes (no doubt to keep the mice out):

Then you have the masking tape to cover a hole in the ceiling as you go downstairs:

Last but not least, the ever reliable and multiple use Duct Tape is used when you just don’t have any metal screws (to hold in the window):

Are you searching for investment properties on your own and running into similar properties?

It seems that this person (tenant I assume) was able to borrow/find some old Lunds entry carpets and proceeded to use them as runners on the stairs. I could almost understand if the rug had some cool name or logo on it like: BMW, TAG Heuer, or Summit Brewing, but come on, it is Lund’s grocery (nothing against Lunds as they are very nice stores). Then I had to wonder how much traffic and how dirty these stairs must get if they need a dark green commercial carpet to cover them!

(click for larger view)

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